Friday, December 24, 2010

Been up. Goin' down

Same place, same time, same shit, different day. Oh, the inspiration! It's just flooding my body. Where do I go from here? Onward and upward. They can't all be gems. Yeah, I'm special, so where's the genius? Let's just beat myself up a little and see what comes out. Maybe I could be real for once. That would be special. But alas, I'm locked in a daydream. It's a mood disorder. They have medication for it. Did you ever try to write on medication? It's a lost cause. I must just love to hate myself. It's the one thing I can do that everybody can get on board with. Suicide is the only solution that solves every possible problem. And it will always be an alternative. It's really hard to get away from. Who says there's no such thing as perfection? It's all in what you're trying to accomplish. I can feel the shit dribbling out of the corners of my mouth again. But I can't stop. I'm on a roll. I'm everything I always wanted to be - in hate with myself. There's no problem where I fit in now. I don't. It's all over but the cryin'. Still I go on. Born to Babble. I don't care if anybody is listening or not. I gotta speak. It's all about me. Nothing else matters. Me, me, me. Who else am I doing this for? Am I makin' friends and influencing people? I don't think so. So let's put an ending on this. It needs to be really grandiose. When I have never been grandiose? Like I said it's a mood disorder. And there there's a narcissistic personality thrown in there and an avoidant personality disorder and a borderline personality disorder too. I'm just a floating stew of dysfunction. Is it any wonder I'm so happy? I'm just a joy to be around. Who could ask for a better life than this? I'm just a wonder to behold.

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