I wasn't made to do anything except kid myself. I went through life always thinking I was something I wasn't. At first I thought I was a rock star. Then I thought I was inventor. Do I think that I'm a writer now? I guess anyone is a writer. Some get read more than others. I rarely get read and only by anonymous people. I really don't want to be thought of as a writer. It would be just one more thing that would work against me.
All I do is kid myself, and all I want to do is party. It's a sad existence. I want to be somebody. Doesn't everybody? I am never going to be anybody, but I'll keep trying. I'll get up every morning. I'll go through every day. They all will lack one thing - me being anybody. How does a person adjust to that? Mostly by denial I would suppose.
I've had my moments, however. I've been somebody. I try to repress those moments. Pride always goes before a fall. What would I consider worthy of being considered as "one of those moments". I feel like it is bad luck to even think about it. Things can only go one way when you're on top. Also my present attitude has me pitted against myself. I'm totally blocked off from that part of me. I would immediately denigrate anything that I thought of. I'm not going to put myself through that.
What was my greatest moment?
Maybe it was protesting at the state capital when they brought back the death penalty. I was in the newspaper.